Vultures

I work a job where most of the time I'm cleaning. Sometimes, we find other things to clean that are more... intensive cleaning. Sometimes it's an evicted tenant that leaves a poo in their toilet, or sometimes a mentally handicapped guy who doesn't know how to wash, or do his dishes for a few years. Sometimes you get the awesome job of cleaning up at the aviary.

I know what you're thinking: so this Patrick, he gets to clean up bird shit. And let me tell you, in a February day in the middle of the snow, it's not the best thing going in the whole wide world.

However, the pay is pretty nice, and I like the guy that I work for.

The aviary in Pittsburgh has this little nook where they take care of sick birds. Apparently, no one has cleaned the cage for a while, so that's where we came in today. And it just so happened that the sick bird area is precisely next to the vulture habitat.

Let me tell you that these fuckers are straight up aggressive. They followed me around for a good 10 minutes trying to bite my finger through the cyclone fence.

And they got me to thinking about vegan stuff, as is my wont.

Now let me tell you this: if I saw any of these bastards in the desert, I would not hesitate to hit them squarely in the head with a club.

But I have to fall back on that statement with a minor caveat, which is that I would have no trouble with obligate carnivores of all shapes and sizes disappearing from the face of the earth. Who in their right mind would want to keep a lion, or a polar bear, or a vulture, as a pet? No one.

So with that, I leave you with some fashion advice, something that I've noticed.

The "fur trim" look is very similar to the "flesh-maggot-eating bird-of-prey" look.

Not very classy really.



















Unless of course, you're looking for someone like this guy.